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Their stay comes to an end... and their lives begin...
PART 3: An End and a Beginning
During the week that followed, they fell into a routine. Ennis woke early from habit, got out of bed long enough to start the coffee in the automatic drip coffeemaker, then hopped back into bed and used his lips and other body parts to pull a sleepy Jack into full wakefulness. After seeing to the horses, they showered, had breakfast in the dining room, and then saddled up the horses for a morning ride. They explored the marked trails and some of Pete’s byways, and always found a quiet, hidden place to explore each other. After lunch, they went swimming and played cards by the pool, before heading back to the stables to feed the horses and chat with Pete. After dinner, they sat in the bar or headed to the recreation room to play some pool, or both, before walking back to their cabin, where they spent some time on the porch winding down from their day, then spending time in bed wrapped in each other’s arms. Their routine varied occasionally. One morning they rode with a group of guests on a morning trail ride, ending up with a chuck-wagon breakfast next to one of the lakes on the Ranch. One afternoon they drove into Pueblo and looked around, had dinner, and returned with gifts for their kids. Another day they went river rafting with a group from the ranch, including jumping off a 20-foot outcropping of rock into the river below. One evening after dinner they joined other guests for a show put on by the Ranch employees in the recreation hall. Some of the guests engaged them in conversation in the dining room, or by the pool, or in the bar, or at the stables, light talk about what a nice place this was, and where they were from, and what they did for work, and how they knew each other, and their families, and such. Ennis usually had little to say, listening, answering when asked, while Jack kept the conversation rolling. Ennis learned that people simply accepted them as two friends, spending time together. He could tell when another guest figured out their sleeping arrangements, and the response of the other guest fell into one of two categories: either the guest avoided them while pleasantly making excuses, or the guest stayed around as usual without changing. Most stayed around as usual. Like Sally and Jim and their kids. But Ennis and Jack had some of their best conversations in the dark, on the porch, before heading inside for the night. +++++ On Sunday night, Jack broke the silence. Mentally steeling himself, he asked Ennis the question that had been on his mind since Friday morning. “Enn?” “Yeah.” “What happened Thursday night?” Jack waited while Ennis collected his thoughts before speaking. “You could say I wrestled with Draco to capture the North Star.” “What? Draco? Who’s Draco?” “A dragon.” “A dragon?!” Jack didn’t expect that answer. “Yep, one big bad dragon, that big fella up there.” Ennis pointed towards the sky, towards the North Star and Big Dipper and the Little Dipper and Draco in between. “See the North Star, and the two Dippers. Then see Draco? He runs in between the Dippers, that’s his head, then his body…” “I know the North Star and the Dippers, never knew about Draco.” “Well, the Greeks or some such called the Dippers bears, and the dragon kept the bears apart.” Ennis took a swig from the bottle, and handed it to Jack. He could barely make out Jack’s dim outline in the darkness. “Thursday night I looked at ‘em and didn’t see the Dippers, could only see you and me, and you showin’ me the way steady and true, and a big dragon of my fears in between us, keepin’ us apart. Thinkin’ on what Fran said, I decided I just couldn’t let that happen no more. So I wrestled with that dragon, knocked him down, and took hold of that Star.” He reached out and Jack handed the bottle back, and he took another swig. “You’re my North Star, Jack. But all these years I was too afraid and ashamed to follow you. Not any more. Huh-uh. Now, I ain’t sayin’ that dragon’s gone fer good, mind you, ain’t sayin’ he won’t try to get b’tween us again sometime, not after so many years, but now I know he can be handled and I can handle him.” Ennis stopped, exhausted from talking so much. They both sat in silence for a while, before Jack broke it again. “Remind me to thank Fran some day.” “Okay.” Ennis paused, took another swig from the bottle. “Thank Fran some day.” “Dumbass.” “Sticks and stones… salesman.” “Ouch, that hurts.” “Where? Want me to kiss it and make it all better? “Damn right I do.” They walked inside, locked the door, then pushed and shoved and kissed and groped and pulled clothes of each other all the way to the single king-sized bed, where Ennis kissed nearly every square inch of Jack’s body without ever finding where it hurt, but making it all better nonetheless. +++++ On Monday night, Ennis broke the silence. Mentally steeling himself, he asked Jack the question that had been on his mind since Friday morning. “Bud?” “Yeah.” “Who’s Randy?” Ennis waited while Jack collected his thoughts before speaking. “Remember me tellin’ you about the rancher’s wife?” Ennis nodded in the dark, not wanting to hear what he knew was coming, but needing to hear it. “Well, it wasn’t the wife, it was the rancher. Randy’s the foreman at a big place outside of town, his wife and Lureen belong to the same women’s club. We sat at the same table at the Valentine’s Day dinner dance last February. Afterwards we were sittin’ together on a bench outside waitin’ for the gals, when he asks me if I’d like to go fishin’ with him some time, just the two of us, at a cabin on one of the lakes. Couple of weeks later he asked again and then again, and finally I took him up on his offer, and… well… we did a little fishin’ and a lot of other things.” Ennis just stared straight ahead, hardly breathing, waiting to hear Jack tell him these past few days were all a joke to Jack, and Jack would be driving back to Randy when the week was up. “Ain’t proud of what I done, Babe.” Jack remembered what Ennis had said the night before. “I ain’t always been steady, but I’ve always been true to you.” Babe?! He called me Babe! “Things got pretty tense at home before our trip last month, guess that’s what pushed me over the edge that last day when you told me about August. I really counted on that week, and then it was gone, poof, just like that. By the time I got back to Childress, I’d settled down and felt real bad about our fight, called Randy and told him I wanted to cool things a bit. But he just wouldn’t let things go, just had to see me alone to try to convince me to keep things going between us, kept calling every day, so I finally gave in. Thought he’d calmed down what with our trip comin’ up, but they sure boiled over after I called him yesterday and cancelled.” Jack took a swig to fortify himself, and continued on. “He hardly said a thing over the phone, but bright and early with the chickens this morning he hauled ass up the driveway in his fancy Suburban as I was loadin’ up my truck, jumped out and started callin’ me all sorts of names. I dragged him into the garage and tried to explain things calmly, but he wouldn’t hear anythin’ but his own voice. Finally, he started in on you and me and twenty years, so I hauled off and slugged him up the side of his head, right where you got me that mornin’ twenty years ago. Hit the concrete hard when he fell, knocked the wind out of him and some sense into him. Lookin’ down on him, I made up my mind to end it, so told him right then and there how things were gonna be, that it was over between him and me. He apologized, said he was sorry, then I helped him up. We shook hands, and he drove off.” Ennis still stared forward, then squirmed in his seat before asking quietly, “You gonna see him again?” Please say no, please… “Nope, that’s all through, over, done with. Guess for me he’s like yer waitress gal, only with diff’rent equipment, the kind you and I got. He filled in some lonely blank days for a while, when I was missing you so much I couldn’t stand it and I couldn’t have you and I needed what I couldn’t get.” They both sat in silence considering these things, before Jack asked, “You gonna see yer waitress gal again.?” “Nope, that’s all through, too, ended it the day after I got back from our last trip, saw her in the diner, told her I wouldn’t be callin’ any more.” “How’d she take it/” “Not so good neither. But she left me alone, ain’t heard from her since then.” “So, it’s just me and you?” “Yep, me and you… always has been for me, you know, no one else, just you.” Jack squeezed his eyes shut at that, not wanting to let Ennis see through the darkness how much that simple statement affected him. Thank you Lord for whatever you did to make him start talkin’ to me after all these years, sayin’ all those things I never thought I’d ever hear from him. “And while we’re on the subject, Jack Fucking Twist, from now on I’m the only one’s gonna give you what you want and need, and I don’t wanta hear anythin’ more about any other… any other… well, I just don’t wanta, ever, got that?” Ennis growled this out, low, but still couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. “Got that.” Ain’t gonna hurt you ever again, Babe. “Same here, got that?” “Got that.” Both got the feeling that a door had closed while a big window opened, and reached for each other’s hand at the same time. +++++ On Tuesday night, Jack broke the silence. Ennis had bought matching mugs at the ranch gift shop, complete with the ranch’s name and brand on either side, so they used them to sip whiskey this night. “What’re gonna do about Alma?” “Alma? Nothin’ to do. She’s got Bill and her new family, the girls are still around, she don’t need me at all.” “What about the child support you owe her?” “Don’t owe her nothin’. Paid her yesterday the rest of what I owed her.” “How’d she take it?” “Don’t know, wasn’t there to see it.” “Then how’d you pay her?” “Put it in an envelope and gave it to Fran right after graduation, asked her to give it to her momma later on, after things quieted down.” “Chicken.” “Dumbass” “You tell her why you did it?” “Sorta. Wrote her a note, told her I was leavin’ town, no reason to stay, nothin’ left there for me. Didn’t tell her where I was goin’ or who I was goin’ with, that’s my business, ain’t none of her business far as I’m concerned.” Jack smiled in the darkness. Nobody’s business but ours! Talk about a twenty-year circle. “My business, too.” I hope. “Yep.” They sat in silence for a while, holding hands. Ennis chuckled a bit. “Sure woulda liked to see her face when she opened that envelope!” “Maybe not, then you woulda been within’ range of something she coulda thrown at you.” “Got good reflexes, woulda ducked.” “I can flex pretty good myself.” Ennis frowned slightly. “What’s that gotta do with…” He shivered and nearly dropped his almost brand new $7.95 plus tax souvenir mug when Jack leaned over and whispered in his ear, before licking it oh so slowly. “Wanta see how flexible I can get, Cowboy?” “Damn right I do.” They walked inside, locked the door, then pushed and shoved and kissed and groped and pulled clothes of each other all the way to the single king-sized bed, where Jack proceeded to show Ennis how flexible Jack could be, and later when Ennis lay panting on his back, Jack proceeded to show Ennis how flexible Ennis could be. +++++ On Wednesday night Ennis broke the silence. “What happened with Lureen?” “Randy, that’s what happened,” Jack replied with a touch of bitterness. “Huh?” “She was at home Saturday morning, tryin’ to be nice, makin’ me a sandwich and some snacks for the drive, like she always does.” Ennis filed that away for further thought. “Apparently she heard and saw Randy drive up, and came out to say hello to him and bring me the food, and she heard it all.” Ennis felt light-headed. “All of it?” “All of it that matters. I watched Randy head back down the driveway and drive off. When I turned around, there she was, standin’ next to the garage, holdin’ on to a bag of food, hands on her hips, tappin’ her foot, that look in her eyes tellin’ me not to try to lie my way outta this one.” Jack went silent as the conversation played over again in his mind. “Lureen, honey, I…” “Don’t you ‘honey’ me, Jack Twist! I heard what he said, loud and clear.” “But it ain’t what it seems, really.” “Oh? And just what part of it isn’t what it seems? The part about you and Randy spending your ‘fishing” weekends holed up in a cabin fucking each other’s brains out? Or the part about you and your precious Ennis doing the same in a tent in Wyoming for how many years? Well? Which is it?” “Lower your voice, dammit, calm down. This is nobody’s business but ours, and you’re shoutin’ it loud enough to wake the dead.” “Good! Maybe if I shout loud enough my daddy’ll rise from his grave to tell me ‘I told you so’ and whip the daylights outta you.” “That’s it, I’m outta here. You wanta let Mary next door know your business, fine, go ahead. Just remember she’s got a tongue on her that ain’t stopped moving since the day she learned how to move it. You go draggin’ my name through the mud, and I’ll do the same to you, but you’ll still be livin’ here and so will Bobby unless he wants to come with me. So you better think twice about it before you go yellin’ it from any more rooftops or driveways. We’ll talk about this when I get back, and we’ll do it inside!” “On, we’ll do it inside, alright, inside my lawyer’s office drawin’ up the divorce papers on the grounds of adultery with a man.” “Fine, you call him and while you’re at it, be sure to let him know I’ll be askin’ for every penny I got comin’ to me for bein’ married to you for the past 17 years and putting up with your daddy for most of them. And by the way, I quit, find yourself another regional top salesman of the year to peddle your combines.” “But… you…I…Jack, I swear…” “Don’t, it wouldn’t be lady-like.” “Jack? Jack! Earth to Jack!” “Huh?” “Finally. I said, so what happened?” “We had it out right there in the driveway, and she threw the bag of food at me and told me she’s callin’ her lawyer and filin’ for divorce. On my out of town, I stopped at a gas station and called my lawyer, too, to give him a heads-up and start figurin’ out a way to stop the fightin’ and get me single again.” Single again, just like me, just like nine years ago. “’Course, I don’t intend to remain single for long.” Shit, I knew this was too good to be true. “Who you got in mind?” “A cowboy.” “Anybody I know?” Fuckin’ Randy? Ennis couldn’t get that picture out of his mind just yet. “You, as if you didn’t know already.” Jack reached out in the darkness and found Ennis’ hand. “This here’s our chance. You and me, two divorced dads, friends for twenty years, makin’ a go of it on a place of our own, havin’a sweet life together. Whatdya say, Cowboy?” Ennis thought about the past twenty years, Jack asking, him refusing, the loneliness, the emptiness. He looked up and saw the North Star. Time to wrestle another dragon, Ennis del Mar, it’s what you’re here for, ain’t it? To make things right with Jack? And here he’s the one askin’ you, not the other way around. Ennis squeezed Jack’s hand. “I say yes, Jack, yes to all of it, I want all of it, like other folks have, a ranch, a house, a couple of trucks that don’t need fixin’ all the time, the kids over at Easter and Thanksgivin’, a tree in front of the livin’room window on Christmas, and the man I love next to me every day and night.” Jack was speechless, and had to rub his sleeve across his eyes. “Ennis del Mar, are you proposin’ to me?” Jack managed to get it out with only a slight hitch in his voice. Ennis considered that. “Guess I am, kinda.” “Only kinda?” “Seein’ as how we can’t get married, it hasta be ‘kinda’.” “Well, I accept your proposal, and if ever the day comes, I’ll hold you to it and make honest men outta the both of us.” “Does that mean we gotta wait ‘til then for the honeymoon?” “No way, Cowboy.” They stood up, and embraced for what seemed like hours, just holding onto each other. Finally, without saying a word, they briefly kissed before walking inside to start their honeymoon, one that would last many decades. +++++ On Thursday night, Jack broke the silence. “Somethin’ botherin’ you, Cowboy?” “Nah. Well, sorta.” Jack waited a few seconds. “Sorta what?” “Thinkin’ about Sally and Jim.” “What about them?” “They know, I can tell.” “Know what?” “About us.” “What about us?” “You know, me and you, um… together, you know, ‘together’ together.” “I kinda thought so, too. When did you figure that out?” “Tonight, at dinner. Shoulda never sat down with them.” “Sure we shoulda, it was nice of them to ask, and polite of us to accept. After all, we’ve been on a raft trip with them, and on a trail ride breakfast, and we see ‘em every day at least once.” “Still…” “Still what?” “Makes me uncomfortable, sittin’ there, them knowin’, lookin’ at me, us, wonderin’ what they’re thinkin’, maybe condemning us for who we are and what we do.” “They wouldn’t have asked us to sit down with them if they didn’t like us regardless of who we are, or that we’re sleepin’ in the same bed every night.” Quiet ensued. “They’re not the only ones that know about us, you know that, dontcha? Brett, Pete, the maids, Annie…” Jack could hear Ennis shifting in his chair. “I know.” “And…?” “Sometimes I feel like I gotta big sign on my back, or a big letter on my forehead.” One step at a time, he’s already traveled so far so quickly. “You mean like Hester only with a big red ‘Q’ tacked onto your shirt? So what’re you gonna do about it? Check out in the middle of the night? Run?” Jack sighed. “Enn, if we’re gonna do this, have a life together full time, then you gotta be prepared for folks to figure things out. Nobody’s business but ours, but some busybodies will always try to make it theirs. If folks try to pry into our private lives, we’ll be polite but firm and refuse. Not sayin’ Jim and Sally are like that, as a matter of fact, I think they’re just the opposite. Besides, I like ‘em.” Ennis remained silent for a minute, pulled on his cigarette, causing it to blaze brighter in the darkness, lighting up his face for a moment. “You said ‘if’.” “If what?” Twenty questions. “You said ‘if’ we’re gonna have a life together full time. Want you to know, there’s no ‘if’ for me. Nothin’s changed since Saturday.” Jack could hear Ennis’ determination as his words floated quietly through the darkness. He matched it with his own. He reached and found Ennis’ hand and held it in his, running his thumb over the smooth back of the rough hand of his very own cowboy. “Okay, then, no more ‘ifs’. We just have to decide how and where and when…” “Already decided. I got all my things with me, go wherever you want to go, do whatever we need to do, soon as we leave.” “Then it’s settled.” “Yep.” “No changin’ your mind.” “Nope.” Jack squeezed Ennis’ hand, and leaned over until his lips brushed against Ennis’ ear. “Let’s go inside and seal the deal.” He breathed more than spoke those words. Ennis stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray next to his chair and stood up. So did Jack. Ennis didn’t let go, rather pulled Jack in for a kiss. When they broke their kiss, they stood holding each other, cheek to cheek, hands running circles on each other’s back. Ennis broke the silence this time. “Jack?’ “Ummm…” “Who’s Hester?” Jack looked at him in wonder, grinned and snorted out a quick laugh. “No one you gotta be worried about, believe me, I’ll tell you later.” Jack then tugged on his hand and led the way inside. The lights in the cabin stayed off. Pete smiled to himself as he fed the horses a late breakfast Friday morning. +++++ On Friday night, Ennis broke the silence. “Darlin’?” He called me darlin’! Jack took a sip from his mug before answering. “Ýeah.” “What about tomorrow?” “What about it?” “What’s gonna happen? We’ve talked a whole bunch, but ain’t talked about that.” Jack sighed in the darkness. “I gotta drive back to Childress, pick up the pieces, get my things, at least whatever Lureen hasn’t tossed out or burned, clear out my bank accounts, file for divorce, talk to Bobby. Should only take a couple a days, then I can meet you…” “Ain’t letting you go by yourself, I’m goin’ with you.” “You sure about that? You sure you wanta drive right into Childress and meet my… meet Lureen, maybe run into Randy in the process, meet Bobby? You sure you wanta do that?” Please say yes, Babe. I need you with me, can’t do it alone no matter what you think, just don’t be afraid, don’t back out. “Can’t say it’s gonna be easy, just thinkin’ about it makes my stomach feel funny and my palms start to get sweaty. But I ain’t gonna let you go by yourself, don’t want anything to happen to you and me be hundreds of miles away and not find out about it in time to help you.” The strongest fear still had its grip on him. “Nothin’s gonna happen to me, nothin’,” Jack said soothingly and he hoped convincingly. “Lureen may be mad as a wet hen, but she’s also smart and a sharp business woman and she’s gotta live there after I’m gone. Once she calms down, she’ll know it hasta be a quiet divorce. So like I said, you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanta.” “I do, Jack,” Ennis replied firmly. And Jack knew that was it, no changing Ennis’ mind. Ennis had used his first name, not ‘darlin’’ or ‘Bud’ or anything else, just Jack. “Thank you, Ennis, I know how much it takes for you to do this with me, and I appreciate it. Wasn’t lookin’ forward to doin’ it alone.” And Ennis knew that was it, no changing Jack’s mind. Jack had used his full first name, not ‘Cowboy’ or ‘Enn’ or ‘Babe’ or anything else, just Ennis. He breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll talk with Pete, see if can take care of the horses for a week or so while we’re gone, and ask Brett if I can park my truck somewheres outta the way, so’s we can ride together, talk more about where we’re gonna end up after Childress.” “Sounds like a good plan. You been thinkin’ about things, haven’t you?’ “Yep, my turn after all these years.” “Well, like I said before, I sure do like this new Ennis Del Mar.” “And I sure do like this old Jack Twist.” “Old! Who’s old? I ain’t old!” “Old as me.” “Huh-uh, you’re three months older’n me. I’ve been keeping time with an older man for twenty years now.” “Hummpf. I’ll show you who’s old and who’s not.” “Promise?” “You bet. Inside, now!” Ennis tugged Jack inside, locked the door, then pushed and shoved and kissed and groped and pulled Jack’s clothes off all the way to the single king-sized bed, where Ennis stripped in front of an admiring Jack and set about proving to Jack how much an older man could do, after which Jack reminded Ennis that a younger man could do even more. +++++ Saturday morning they stood on the porch outside the office, taking one last look at the ranch before leaving. They’d said their goodbyes to Pete and the horses and Brett and Annie and all the others. Sue and Jim had left shortly before, but not until they’d hugged and Sue had made them promise to keep in touch. And they did, exchanging Christmas cards and photos and wedding invitations and birth announcements, meeting up every few years somewhere in between and occasionally at each other’s place, keeping alive a warm friendship. “We’ll have to come back again some day, Enn. I like this place, lotsa good memories.” “Know that, too. Already made reservations for next year, same week, same cabin.” Jack turned his head and caught a bit of a smile playing across Ennis’ lips. Oh what those two lips can do! Quietly he remarked, softly enough so only his cowboy could here, “Why, Ennis Del Mar, you old romantic fool, you.” Ennis’ lips twitched, and he blushed a bit. “Stop it, Jack, someone could hear. B’sides, like a showed you last night, I ain’t old.” “So you don’t deny it, you’re a romantic fool.” Ennis didn’t deny it. Instead, he bumped shoulders with Jack and started down the steps to Jack’s parked truck. “You comin?” Jack bit back a ribald comment, and just said, “Yeah.” Five minutes later, they drove under the Western-style entrance to Running Springs Ranch and reached the highway. Jack signaled, then turned the truck east, towards Childress, towards the end of his marriage and the beginning of their sweet life twenty years in the making. +++++
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